Bags: why they should be worn on arms and never under eyes

Move over water-boarding a new form of torture has arrived and it's called a 'sleep study'! The term itself is an oxymoron - you are supposed to 'sleep' whilst being 'studied' by sleep specialists,  instead you fantasise about sleep while studying the ceiling of your hospital room. Upon telling friends and family I was having a sleep study done (after some 10 odd years of terrible sleep patterns and continual tiredness regardless of how long I slept for) almost all reacted with surprise and shock to the idea of staying in hospital overnight in order to have your sleep quality assessed. 'But how can they study your sleep patterns when you are in a hospital bed? Surely that is not conducive to a good night's sleep?' one friend asked. I patiently explained that, no, being in a strange environment (particularly a hospital) was not a guarantee of a good night's sleep, but sleep studies conducted in the comfort of your own home do not yield the same amount of detail that a hospital study does.

So, on Monday night at 8:30pm I obediently arrived at St John of God Hospital. I had been told by the specialist that 40% of the male population suffered some form of sleeping disorder compared to only 15-20% of the female population. As a result, I was not surprised to see that out of the 6 people having a study done only 2 of us were female. Upon arrival I was shown to my private room, complete with en suite bathroom, and told to get into my sleep things. 10 mins later the sleep specialist/nurse began my preparations.

In hindsight I am not sure what I was expecting but it certainly was not the multitude of electrons and sensors that were attached to me. I had two sensors 'glued' into my hair, one behind each ear, one under each eye, two on my chin, two on my back, one on each leg and two strapped around my chest, there was a nasal tube that measured how much I breathed out and also an oxygen sat level reader attached to my finger. Feeling like the world's largest porcupine, wires sprouting from all over, I was helped into bed by the nurse. Don't worry, she assured me, even though you are a human science project plugged into what looked like an enormous battery you can get up to go to the bathroom any time during the night - all I you have to do is press the call button, wait for one of the staff monitoring you to come in, turn on the light on, un-plug the 'battery' from the wall and then you can go to the bathroom battery in hand and be plugged back in after! Needless to say I immediately needed to pee.

The light was turned out and I tried to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. On top of the wires tugging at me whenever I so much as moved my pinkie, there was a red light coming from by oxygen sat reader and a blinking light from one of the straps around my chest. I pulled the covers up over the lights and eventually called for another blanket when I couldn't get warm enough. In the end I did fall asleep for a little while only to wake up boiling hot and disorientated. At one stage during the night one of the sensors on my back came off and a staff member had to come in (torch in hand) to re-stick it. Overall I estimate I slept for a total of 2-3 hours.

I was woken at approximately 6:30am to remove all the sensors etc and had a blessedly hot, high powered shower to try and get all the glue out of my hair. I ate breakfast and then drove to work, trying not to shut my eyes when I was stopped at a traffic light. In retrospect I should have taken the day off work, instead I treated my employer's to the most unproductive day I have ever had before flying the white flag and leaving an hour early for home and the comfort of my own bed.

As much as it was an unpleasant (although necessary) experience, my heart really goes out to the staff who work at the clinic. Not only must they stay up all night watching other people sleep (or at least try to), they have to deal with people at their most disagreeable. The staff member who prepped me for the study couldn't get over how "delightful" and "compliant" I was. In shock I asked her if she normally had trouble with patients. 'Oh yes, I almost got into a fight with one of the patients tonight. In the end I just let him have his way, after all I am only the expert!" Ugghhh, yes I know the type, but I still couldn't understand how someone could be so nasty considering the long hours the staff had to work, and for our benefit too!

Sleeping study - check! Bags under the eyes - thank God for concealer!

On the subject of bags I want to share my current love - my new Kate Spade handbag! I started looking for a new handbag at the beginning of this year. My old Dissona bag was driving me slowly insane due to its voluminous depths making it impossible for me to find anything in it, so I was looking for something reasonable compact but that would still allow me to fit all my essentials.

My beautiful new Kate Spade bag 

After 6 months of searching and finding nothing but extremely bulky, un-feminine bags I was feeling very jaded. I started looking at some of the more expensive bags on show at David Jones and found a Kate Spade bag that would do the trick. Unfortunately the price tag almost gave me a coronary! I know that many fashionistas out there would not consider a $600 bag expensive but on my wages that is equivalent to a whole month's savings! Feeling a bit depressed that I had found the ideal bag but it was out of my reach I headed home to mope.

A month later I was on eBay searching for a mobile phone cover and thinking what the hell typed 'kate spade handbag' into the search criteria. Not surprisingly there were only a few hits for Australia and all around the $400 mark, then I looked at the international hits. I couldn't believe how many there were to choose from! In the end it took me another few weeks just to decide which one I would bid on.



After getting my ruler out to measure dimensions and calculating the USD to AUD exchange rate I settled on a beautiful beige Elena handbag with gold detailing and a fun pink a purple faille lining.

Just the right size to fit all my bits and pieces!

I made a successful bid of $140 USD (~$135 AUD) my bag was winging its way to me for an extra $35 postage fee. All up I got my brand new (tags still intact) Kate Spade bag complete with dust cover for a sizzling $170 AUD. Goes to show that patience is a virtue after all!

DL